10h44, 28 décembre
I want a new life.
I'm not sure if I have the strength for it.
I feel extremely lazy, maybe because I'm exhausted.
Messiness is spreading around the house: things I won't use, won't wear, won't play with. Things I will end up throwing away. Weighing me down.
Weighing me down.
Maybe that's why. Scrolling is so easy.
This research started as a deep dive into a year of dealing with internet and cellphone overuse, and the different ways I tried to get myself out of the chaos of algorithmic life. Through autoethnography and arts-based research, I documented and scrutinized the difficulties of living a life entangled with digital technologies, and explored solutions to make it more livable. By getting in touch with older technologies—a slide projector, typewriters, film photography—and with nature, this thesis transformed outside of screens in an exploration of neurodivergent ways of living and researching. In my thesis exhibition S’enfarger dans le Quotidien, I crafted a home space where we neurodivergent people can rest and exist as we are. In this thesis paper, I let my academic writing follow the branching and expanding thought processing of Autism and ADHD.
Anchored in an intersectional and feminist disability justice theory, building on the work of scholars such as Ahmed, Hersey, Piepzna-Samarasinha, Crenshaw and Schalk, this AuDHD research paper offers a tentative answer to the question: “What would it mean to crip a thesis?” The entirety of this work is by and for neurodivergent and disabled people.
An embodied, messy and playful path trying to steer away from the one written by big tech companies, and into our most divergent selves.